I recently wrote about a friend who broke up with her partner and is wanting to believe in the possibility of love again.

I shared that the first step to believing in possibility is to declare that what you want is possible.

My friend responded as I’m sure many of you who read the post did.

She told me, “The problem is that most of me doesn’t believe it’s true. I mean, there’s this little part of me that knows that it’s possible that I’ll fall in love again. But, right now, there’s an even bigger part of me who doesn’t.”

Sound familiar?

So, what do you do with the part of you who doesn’t believe you’re capable of creating the change you want?

You know this part. I call it the inner Judge. You might call it the critic, the censor, the voice of shame, Mo, Frank, or that mean little monster that just won’t give you a break. No matter what you call it or what area of your life it shows up in, its messages are all too common. It says, “Who do you think you are?” or “You’re not good enough for that” or “That dream’s for other people, not for you.”

You might be painfully familiar with this part. Or, you may not feel like your Judge isn’t that loud at all. Either way, your Judge spends most of its time in your unconscious mind, whiling away the days waiting for the moment when you’re contemplating what he (she/they) believe is a potentially risky move. And then… up it pops to warn you of the dangers and your inability to cope with them. This may happen several times a day, or it might happen less frequently.

Regardless of how often your inner Judge pops up, it’s one of the biggest reasons why it can be so hard to believe in possibility.

To quiet your inner Judge and strengthen your belief in what is possible, you need to get your self-judgments out on paper. Writing them down brings them to the light of your conscious mind, and when they’re exposed, they begin to lose their power.

Imagine that your mind is like an iceberg.

The small part above the water is your conscious mind, which consists of everything you’re aware of at any given moment. The huge part underneath the surface is your unconscious mind, which is everything you’re not aware of at the present moment. Your unconscious mind is much bigger and more powerful than your conscious mind.

While it’s vitally important to declare a sense of possibility consciously and out loud, this is only the first step. To truly embody a sense of possibility, you need to shine a light on the parts that don’t believe that change is possible.

So, how do you begin to bring your Judge and its limiting beliefs to light?

I invite you to try this practice for yourself for ten minutes, right now:

  • Grab a piece of paper, and draw a column down the middle.
  • In the top of the left-hand column, write down what you (or at least a small part of you) believes is possible or wants to believe is possible. To help you do this, you can answer this question: “What declaration of possibility can you make that has the power to transform and inspire you?”, or you can click here to learn more about the first step to believing in possibility.
  • Then, listen to and quickly write down what your Judge says in response. In the Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron calls these “blurts.” The Judge can be vicious. I encourage you to write it all down.
  • If you have time, keep writing until your Judge doesn’t have anything left to say. If you want to explore the practice further, write your declaration of possibility in the left column again. Then, see what other limiting beliefs come up in the right column this time. You can keep going back and forth until you feel ready to end.
  • If you need to end before you feel complete, take a moment to feel your feet on the ground and your breath in your body. This will help you to feel more grounded as you come back to the rest of your day.

You may feel an immediate sense of lightness and relief as you realize the old beliefs that have been holding you back. Or, you may feel hardly any change at all at the beginning.

Both are normal and okay.

This practice deserves time. When I first learned the importance of bringing limiting beliefs to light, I practiced this writing exercise every day, multiple times a day. It took about a year, but eventually, my inner Judge became incredibly quiet. I still rely on this practice when my Judge is activated, but this only happens once every few months or so.

It can take patience and persistence, but when you devote yourself to this practice, over time, your Judge will begin to lose its power, and your belief in possibility will strengthen.

You are capable of so much. May you feel that in your bones.

If you have a friend who is facing a big change in their life and needing to harness the power of possibility, please do share this article with them. Thank you!

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