Recently, my good friend chose to end a relationship with her live-in partner of over a decade.

This decision was a long time coming. It was the culmination of a lot of listening to her intuition and letting go of self-doubt, and it was the next right step in her life. Immediately after making the decision, she felt almost elated, and rightly so.

But, a month or so later, the loneliness started to creep in.

This break-up has left a sort of vacuum in her life, and it’s compounded by the fact that her son is about to graduate high school and leave home. My friend reached out to me this week saying that she felt lost and lonely.

She asked for my advice about how to believe in the possibility of love again.

I want to share with you what I shared with her. But before I do, I want to answer a question I know you might be wondering—

What does my friend’s love life have to do with building a business or leading a movement or creating a career you love?

Here’s the thing— No matter what type of change you’re focused on creating right now— whether you want to find a new partner or find a new job or create a chosen family or create social change— you need first to believe that change is possible.

One of the most powerful first steps to believing in possibility is to make a declaration out loud that the change you want is possible.

In Community, The Structure of Belonging, Peter Block writes, “possibility occurs as a declaration, and declaring a possibility wholeheartedly can, in fact, be the transformation.”

In other words, when we speak out loud that which we want to create— with conviction and physical groundedness— we give birth to a new possibility. When we give voice to our desires, we breathe life and power and energy into them.

By declaring that we believe in possibility, we can move beyond our histories and our stories and begin to create a new future.

One of the most famous public declarations of possibility was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech in 1963. His words, “I have a dream today!” still move us now, fifty-five years later. His declaration of possibility inspires us to believe that racial equity and his vision of the beloved community really are possible. And his declaration still moves many of us to action.

Of course, a declaration of possibility is not the only thing needed to transform our lives or our world. But it is the beginning. We still have so much to do to make MLK’s dream a reality. Yes. And, just think about how many people this speech has inspired, how many seeds for change this powerful declaration of possibility has planted.

So, how do you embody a declaration of possibility?

I invite you to gift yourself ten minutes for this exercise, right now.

  • Grab something to write with and center yourself in your body.
  • At the top of the paper, write down the question, “What declaration of possibility can you make that has the power to transform and inspire you?”
  • Set a timer for five minutes. This is a big question, of course, and it may need more time to mull around in your unconscious before you feel complete. But for now, go for curiosity rather than perfection, and write down whatever comes up, without censoring yourself.
  • At the end of the five minutes, underline anything you wrote that speaks of possibility. Then, speak these phrases out loud. Your statement could sound something like:
    • “I believe in the possibility of meeting the love of my life someday.”
    • “It is absolutely possible that I’ll be able to reach thousands of people with my message.”
    • “With persistence, patience, and a lot of love, our movement has the power to change the world.”
    • Or something else entirely. The key thing is that you feel a sense of possibility when you read the statement.

    Feel how you feel in your body, and if you’ve got nothing, know that it can take time to arrive at a point where you can declare your belief in possibility with resonance and passion.

    It can also be much easier to discover a sense of possibility when another person compassionately witnesses us. It is such a gift to witness my clients’ faces light up when they discover the ability to speak a sense of possibility out loud. If you believe it would help you to have the support of a witness, I encourage you to share this article with a friend and do the practice together.

    As Arundhati Roy famously wrote, “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.” May you feel your feet rooted in possibility, my friend.

    Again, just a quick encouragement to share this article with a friend. This exercise can be so much more fun and powerful with someone who believes in you!


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