This article is a continuation from 8 Reasons Why You Might Struggle to Take in the Good: Part One .

3. Other people may have ignored or rejected you when you attempted to share your joy.

In Your Resonant Self, Sarah Peyton writes that when we attempt to share excitement with another person, it’s like we extend an emotional bridge partway across a chasm. If the person we’re reaching toward extends their emotional bridge back to meet ours, we feel seen and understood.

But if the other person does not notice our bridge or meets it with scorn, it feels as though our bridge collapses and is left dangling. If another person doesn’t laugh when we laugh, doesn’t smile when we smile, or dismisses or disapproves of our glee, we can feel intense shame.

That’s why, if your caretakers didn’t share your delight as a child, it might feel dangerous to share your delight now. As a result, you may stop yourself from fully experiencing joy to save yourself from humiliation.

If that’s you, I encourage you to find people with whom you can celebrate your wins and savor the good parts of life. A community of practice  with people with similar callings can be incredibly supportive if your joy was rejected.

4. You may hold yourself back from letting others know how good you’re doing because they’re struggling, and you don’t want to make them feel worse by telling them how good you feel.

Joy grows with shared celebration. If you don’t feel like you have anyone to celebrate with, it may feel like you’re a high striker—that carnival strength game where a person hits a hammer, aiming to ring a bell at the top of a tower—that never reaches the top.

This is another important reason to find allies who are eager to celebrate your wins with you.

Click here to read 8 Reasons Why You Might Struggle to Take in the Good: Part Three.


Forgot Password?

Join Us