This article is a continuation from 8 Reasons Why You Might Struggle to Take in the Good: Part One  and Two .

5. You may be waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Sometimes, when my career coaching and leadership coaching  clients achieve big goals—like getting a job they want or winning a campaign—they express a sense of jubilation tinged with dread. As a client recently shared: “It’s so strange. I feel more powerful and happy than I have in a long time. And, it’s like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

If you learned to be alert as a child, if you’ve been struggling for a while, or if you’re awake to the painful realities of this time, it makes sense that your body is on high alert.

If part of you worries that something terrible will happen to take away your happiness, I invite you to turn toward this part with kindness and warmth. Don’t try to convince the worried part of you to feel less worried. Let it know that you see it, and you love it and that, of course, it feels concerned. Tender acknowledgement is the first step to supporting this part to relax. (Stay tuned for Part Two, where we’ll explore the concept of witnessing the struggling parts with compassion in far greater depth.)

6. You may be skilled at focusing on what’s problematic.

The purpose of judgment is to protect what’s important, and many of us engaged in social justice have become quite skilled in judgment to protect what we hold dear.

If you’ve developed the habit of hanging out more in judgment than embracing what works, I invite you to consider this: If judgment is the action of pushing away, embracing what serves us is the action of pulling towards. We must learn to both judge and embrace—push aways and pull towards—to be fully alive and whole.

Click here to read 8 Reasons Why You Might Struggle to Take in the Good: Part Four.


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