Do you ever find yourself asking, “Why am I struggling?” Or, “Why do I keep doing this thing over and over again?”

Many of my clients come to me after years of work on themselves, in the habit of digging deep into past traumas and why they are the way they are.

They’ve often experienced dramatic transformation as a result, but they still feel stuck in their work-lives.

Trying to get unstuck, they’re in the habit of asking themselves, “Why am I the way I am? Why am I stuck?”

But this line of questioning rarely helps. In fact, it can exacerbate stuckness.

Sometimes, the more we focus on figuring out why we’re stuck, the less we know how to get unstuck.

We often don’t need to know why a problem exists to know how to solve it.

Instead, we need to imagine what being unstuck looks like and investigate how we might make our vision a reality.

Where you invest your attention grows.

If you focus on a problem, you’ll know more about the problem. When you shift your attention from analyzing problems to discovering solutions, you learn more about what works.

This world is far more complex than we’d like to believe. No one event has just one cause. We could spend hours discussing why I am sitting on this couch at this moment typing these words to you on this computer. And while that might be an interesting discussion, I’d likely never complete this article if we did.

When my clients realize that they get to focus on discovering the path forward (rather than picking apart the path behind them), it’s like magic.

They encounter a newfound excitement about what’s calling them forward and begin to move forward with ease.

The next time you find yourself asking why you’re struggling, I invite you to pause, acknowledge that you’re struggling, and then ask yourself a new question.

“What would the opposite of my problem look like?”

“What do I really need here?”

“What is one step I might take toward making a change?”

If you stay curious about what might work—and you keep taking one step after another—you will build momentum toward a better future.


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