In a culture that worships the mythical “self-made man,” asking for help can feel dangerous. 

However, if you read all the great stories, you’ll see that it is rare that the hero ever goes it alone. 

After the hero accepts their call, Joseph Campbell wrote that the hero goes through a phase called “Supernatural Aid.” The hero receives help from allies— magical helpers, fairy godmothers, secret agents, protective amulets. 

Without sufficient support, the hero can get lost in the underworld, but if they have the allies they need and keep putting one foot in front of the other, they will be more likely to exit the labyrinth alive. 

Modern-day systems of oppression— capitalism, patriarchy, white supremacy, etc.— inculcate us with the notion that we must be self-reliant. However, self-reliance is an illusion. 

None of us can follow a calling far on our own, and none of us alone has all the answers.

If you don’t ask for help, it makes it harder to get the support you need, which makes you less likely to be successful, and in turn, even less likely to ask for help. This creates a feedback loop of stuckness.

Your journey will be so much easier if you have support from guides who know the terrain well and are skilled at helping travelers navigate around potential pitfalls, answering tricky questions, and pulling people back up when they fall. It is so much easier to step into the unknown if you are accompanied by people on similar journeys and share a sense of belonging.

Although I rely on my journal to help me get unstuck, I reach out for support when I’m struggling with a new challenge. I’ve worked with five different business coaches in the past eight years, and I’m always training to improve my skills in some way. 

I invite you to grab some paper and a pen and jot down some thoughts about who might be an ally on your path toward a work/life you love.

To jog your imagination, here are potential allies:

  • Old friends you trust
  • Current friends and community who have your back and believe in you
  • Friends you have yet to meet who share similar values
  • Networks and associations that you’re a part of or could become a part of
  • Ancestors who shared a similar path as yours (even if you don’t know who they are)
  • A community of practice
  • Spiritual community or sangha
  • Nature, plants, trees, animals, water, sunlight, fresh air, fire, a special place, your relationship with the earth
  • Solitude, retreat, your own company
  • The skills, strengths, and gifts you’ve cultivated over the years
  • Your inner compassionate witness
  • Music, movies, books, art supplies, your journal
  • Money, material goods, current employment
  • Contribution to others
  • Good food, sleep, movement, dance
  • A coaching program to support you with both the inner work and outer work of creating a work/life you love
  • A trauma-informed therapist to help you heal past wounding

Once you’re complete jotting down ideas, I challenge you to choose one baby step and reach out to a potential ally by the end of this week. The more you reach out for support, the more likely you are to find what you need.

I wish you so much support and ease on your journey!

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Much love,



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